doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
