do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
