I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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