Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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