So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
