he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
