Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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