so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
