I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
