does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
