It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
