We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
