i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
