If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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