Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
