Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize