Bisexual people are plain selfish.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sorry about my life...
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