i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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