New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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