Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
