who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize