I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
