After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
