you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
