There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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