is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
