no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
