I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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