One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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