Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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