I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize