Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
