and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
