i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
