Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
