Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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