never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
