that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
and you fell through a lawn chair
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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