It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
