I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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