apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
