This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
