I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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