I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My vagina is officially offended.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
