If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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