just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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