since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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