all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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