Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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