I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
