i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize