she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize