I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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