ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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