He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
