are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize