It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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