I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
