You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
