she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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