do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
