are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
